Love is a Drug
by Forever-Here-Forever-Alone
Summary: Jim never made it to be the Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise. After a year of drugs, sex, and alcohol, he finds himself awoken by loud knocking, and a very surprising visitor. Can Jim stay clean long enough to have a second chance at being a Captain?


**Pairing:** Kirk/Spock  
**P.O.V.:** Kirk (may switch to Spock at times)  
**Rating:** NC-17; Reasons:  
1. Drug/Alcohol Abuse  
2. Sexual Themes  
3. Sexual Content  
4. Adult Language

**Basic Plot:** After Jim saves the universe from the Narada Crisis, Star Fleet observes his previous record at both Academy, and afterwards where he had snuck on a ship and done so many other illegal actions. That being said, they dismissed Jim from Star Fleet all together, and informed him that he would never be allowed on a Ship again. A year passes, and Jim finds himself deep in the realms of drugs, alcohol, and sex. When one early morning, an unexpected visitor finds their way to Jim's doorstep. With the new opportunity to once more be Captain of the Enterprise comes in his life, will he be able to go through the extensive rehabilitation with someone that won't give him any leeway?

*** Prolog *  
* A Look into Life ***

"Jim~! Oh god! Yes!"

I didn't know what I was doing. Honestly, I didn't. Chances were, I picked her up at a bar like the last girl… or at a book store… or the movies… or some other random public place. Chances were, I had been drunk, high, or both. Chances were, I had hit on her with my expertise that was James Tiberius Kirk. Chances were, we'd fuck until sunrise, or until one of us passed out. Chances were, when I awoke, she'd be gone. Chances were, I'd never hear from her again.

Wanna know how I knew that?

It'd been happening like that for almost a year now.

And just as I predicted, the sun started to come up, and she passed out. I, on the other hand, could keep going. But, having some respect in my drunken mind, I, instead, crawled from my bed and toward my bathroom, feeling thoroughly ill. I barely made it to the bathroom before my stomach decided it no longer wanted to hold the contents it held, and pushed them back up my body. Thank God I was by the toilet and made it, or at least most of it. I'd clean that in the morning…or… afternoon.

I dropped heavily into the bathtub, panting some. The room was spinning. My head leaned back slowly against the tiled wall. Using my foot, I pushed up on the faucet, letting the shockingly cold water splash hard on my face. I forgot to lower the little knob thing that made it tub instead of shower. Having no energy to change it, I just laid, letting the cold water hit me hard. Maybe I needed a nice cold shower. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning all around me.

Which was when I passed out.

**/**********\**

By the time I woke up, my mind was partially clear. The water was still running. With a groan, I sat up and turned it off, slowly getting out of the tub and grabbing a towel. I wound it carefully around my waist before walking out of the shower to find an empty apartment. Sighing, I dug around the clothes that littered the floor and eventually found a pair of tight jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled them on, followed by socks and tennis shoes, and walked out the door, heading out of the apartment complex quickly with a small nod to the door woman, who always seemed to glare at me. I still wondered why that was. She hated me so much, and I had no idea why. I made a mental note to ask her about it sometime, if I ever came back sober enough to do so.

Which wasn't likely.

I wondered the streets slowly, hands moving into my pockets. I knew where to go in this city. Even though Iowa was normally full of farmers and hicks, if you got into the cities, it was pretty easy to nab some stash. And some cheaper beer. My eyes flickered up to a building with black windows, flashing neon lights, and the letters that meant that only adults could enter the premises. The three big X's beckoned me. I let a smirk slip onto my features before slowly walking into the building. I flashed my ID, and the usher nodded, opening the door.

Inside the building was hard to see. Smoke, flashing lights, loud music; hell, it was an assault to all your senses, literally. Your sight was hindered by the lights and smoke. Your ears by the music. Your nose by the smell of smoke, booze, and drugs. Your taste by the same as your smell. And your touch by whatever the hell bumped against you. But, did I care? Fuck no. This was my kinda scene as of a year ago. Why? Well, Star Fleet fucked me over, that was why. See if I save their asses again.

I moved forward smoothly, getting a few waves from some girls, some guys offering me drinks. I declined politely for the moment, winding my way slowly toward the back. I pushed open a door slowly, smiling toward a man who jumped at the open the door before smiling back. I stepped inside, closing the door before sitting down in front of him and crossing my legs lightly.

"H-Hi Captain!" The male said, twitching some.

"Hey there, Sparks. Whatcha got for me today?" I asked, leaning back more.

Why did he call me Captain, you may ask? Well, when one is working with drugs, it's always best not to use your real name. That could get you in major trouble if the cops came. So, just to smite myself, I used Captain, as everyone knew I had saved the universe and all that, and everyone now knew that Star Fleet fucked up my life, we decided to play the fiddle that was Irony and use my scene name as Captain.

"W-Well, we have a few pounds of coke in the back, and some acid, and a bit of ex, but that's it for today. I'm pretty w-whipped out. I have to r-restock." Sparks said.

I nodded slowly, pulling out my wallet and handing him a few bills. "Gimme a few tablets of ex, will ya? I'mma need it come soon."

He nodded excitedly, grabbing at the bills and disappearing. He came back with the monies worth of ecstasy in a small container, slipping it to me. I stood, pocketing it in my jacket, sent him a short wave, and exited. As I walked out, I plucked a drink from a practically nude woman, giving her a wink as I walked past and taking a sip. Something fruity. Yum. I felt in my pocket, carefully pulling out a pill before taking it, and downing the rest of the drink.

Within the hour, I was already starting to feel the dizziness and the fucking great feeling whenever something brushed me. I had my own hand on my leg, tracing small circles as I watched a girl dancing on a pole, the drink in my free hand almost drained. I let out a small groan and leaned my head. Fuck, it was already getting hard to keep anything in my pants. I lifted my eyes back to the woman, who watched me slowly while doing a turn. I smirked to her, she smiled, and crawled over toward me. I flicked out a fifty dollar bill, which she picked up slowly before starting to stand.

"I get off at one." She whispered, before going back to the pole.

I smirked, glancing toward a clock not far off. Thirty minutes. I could last that long.

When one came around, I led her out of the strip club, and toward my apartment. We barely made it up the stairs before she was kissing me, and I was kissing back. Barely made it in the room before the clothes were coming off. Didn't make it to the bed before we were fucking.

"Jim~! Oh god! Yes!"

I didn't know what I was doing. Honestly, I didn't. Chances were, I picked her up at a bar like the last girl… or at a book store… or the movies… or some other random public place. Chances were, I had been drunk, high, or both. Chances were, I had hit on her with my expertise that was James Tiberius Kirk. Chances were, we'd fuck until sunrise, or until one of us passed out. Chances were, when I awoke, she'd be gone. Chances were, I'd never hear from her again.

Wanna know how I knew that?

It had happened just the night before.

And it would happen again.

Every night.

Until I died.


End file.
